February 2011
18 posts
Calm down,10-year-old me.
Part of my 2011 self-help regimen requires church every Sunday…you know, so I’m not spiritually dead inside? Anyways, the Episcopal Church I attend in Beverly Hills is frequented by none other than Carol Potter AKA Cindy Walsh from the original 90210! I was so young when I started watching Beverly Hills 90210, I had the barbies that matched the characters AND Peach Pit set. Back when I...
January 2011
21 posts
This just in:
I bought a pair of cheap, one-size-fits-all tights the other day. Got home and tried them on…turns out I am indeed NOT Forever 21, guys.
“A woman at our church just got married last weekend and she’s 46 years...”
– my mother
Oh that's just a personal style choice? I'm not...
The following is the exact dialogue I had with a random dude at a bar this past weekend. This gentleman’s friend was hitting on my friend so I was forced to make conversation:
Me: Wow, nice mustache. Are you an actor or something?
Guy: No.
Me: Oh, so it’s just ironic?
Guy: No! Can’t a guy just have a mustache?! (storms off)
I don’t feel bad. This guy was asking for it....
“I googled you and all your You Tube videos came up. You seem to be getting good...”
– my father
PSA (that stands for Public Service Announcement,...
A friend asked me if I’ve ever tried the shake weight and do I think it, “really works!?” My response? It’s like any other exercise gimmick, fad diet or workout craze. If you actually stick with it and follow the plan/directions/what have you, then yes, it will probably work…in the same way that making yourself do pushups or bicep curls every day would probably work....
This is cool [translation: my name is in the... →
This is the best news ever / what will happen to... →
LIGHTS CAMERA BOOZE
Today I was an extra (well, I did have one line and I got to sing with a group of people for the closing credits) on the set of “Hollywood Musical,” a film written and being directed by the husband of a gal I went to college with…one of the few occurrences in which my [limited] participation in the Wake Forest theater department has actually done me any good. The scene was shot...
“You’re going to enjoy this next girl. It’s very hard being funny and...”
– host of the show I performed in on Sunday / author of the world’s worst backhanded compliment
“I have had terrible insomnia. I was wide awake at 11:30 last night like some...”
– my mother (I don’t know what a “banji” is either but according to Urban Dictionary, it’s a term for a girl who is ghetto)
Having to move your car because you're blocking...
Doesn’t he know I had a late night and no coffee this morning? I’m gonna have to start parking on another obscure street in Santa Monica to get some decent shut eye.
This isn't that interesting.
One of my favorite leisure activities is reading online advice columns and the subsequent comment storm that follows them. There is a segment of our population dedicated to arguing with others on the internet. Anyways, I read the line, “Pull over, I want to get off the PC Bus.” It was a response to another commentator’s attack on the columnist for supposedly being, well, not PC. ...
LA (Lower Alabama) is out of duck meat because... →
This never seemed like a big deal when my parents...
This morning was my dreaded yearly eye exam. I would never go if they didn’t make you, in order to get new contacts. By the way, I still don’t know who “they” is in this context…the government? the contact makers? Mothers Against Drunk Driving?? Anyways, it is miserable for a myriad of reasons, namely the damage done to my bank account and the obstacle course of...
My only thought after reading this is: 30 years?... →
“Inclusion in NAPW is a privilege shared by thousands of professional women...”
– This is an excerpt from a letter I received confirming my offer for membership (for which I did not submit) in the National Association of Professional Women…did you read that, guys? THIS PRIVILEGE IS ONLY GRANTED TO THOUSANDS OF OTHER WOMEN. Don’t try to pull favors any time soon....